Episode 2: Building Community
You know that building community and forming relationships with students and families is THE most important thing a teacher can do. I know you know this because it is in EVERY education focused book, in EVERY professional development, and in EVERY teacher preparation program. But it can be easy to forget. Or to dismiss. And if you are a new teacher, it can feel daunting. Forming meaningful relationships with 28 students (or 90+ if you teach secondary) and their families, is after all, not an EASY task. So regardless where you are in your teaching journey, here are some community building ideas you can use in your classroom.
Getting to know your students & and their families
Positive phone calls home! This is a gamechanger and such a great way to start the relationship off right! Prioritize these the first week or two of school. They are more authentic when you have a funny story or something notable to share with families. Keep a clipboard / spreadsheet and write down something smart a student said, a great question they asked, a time they helped another student, or something funny or silly they did. Then make the call after school and check them off your list. Not only will this set up your relationship with the family up for success, but it will create a great foundation for your relationship with that student. Here’s a sample script you can use:
”Hi, this is __(your name)___, (student)’s teacher. Is this _(parent name)_____? Do you have a few minutes to chat?
We’ve had a great week of school so far and I just wanted to share a quick story. We learning about empathy and ____ made such an insightful comment. She said _____. It just really shows how reflective of a thinker she is. I’m just so excited to be her teacher this year and to get to know your family this year.
Do you have any questions about the school year?”
A few things to note: It is always courteous to ask if they have time to talk. They might still be at work or in the middle of something. Providing a little background on what you were learning about or doing in the classroom and a specific story will show parents that you care deeply about getting to know their child. Pointing out the quality that their behavior or answer shows will reinforce not only that you know what you are doing, but that the parents did a great job in instilling that quality in their kid. Asking if they have any questions lets them know that it is a two way relationship and that their voice is valued. Don’t skip this part just because you are worried about what they may ask. It is always okay, to say let me think about that a little bit and get back to you. Or let me gather some resources for you, can I email you?
One last note: Keeping track of positive things students have done can also help you check your unconscious biases. Reflect on what type of students you are noticing positive behaviors from first. Which students do you have funny stories about? Which students do you know better than others?
Greetings
Greeting your students by name at the door (with a smile) sets your whole day or period up for success. If you want to see the research behind this, read this Edutopia article. One way to do this is asking each student if they would prefer a handshake, highfive, or hug. This is most often used in elementary school. “Good morning ___! Handshake, highfive or hug?” You can also simply say “Good morning/ hello/ good afternoon ____. I’m happy to see you today!” Some teachers have personalized greetings for each student, and some just say a simple hello with a smile and eye contact. The way you greet your students should feel authentic to you and match your teaching style. However, the first thing you say to them MUST be positive!
*I know sometimes there are instances where a student may do something unsafe that requires immediate redirection. However, most times you can at least get out a “Good morning ___, remember to keep your hands to yourself! I’m happy you are here today!” If you do need to redirect first thing in the morning, try to find 3-5 positive things that the student has done that you can narrate/ notice.
Lunch Bunch
This strategy is probably more appropriate for elementary school students. Generally middle school students want to spend time with their peers. (Disclaimer: I am not a middle school teacher, so correct me if I’m wrong please!) This strategy is a little tricky because it involves giving up your lunch break.
This is how I used it in my classroom to build relationships, without giving up too much of my lunches:
I would hold lunch bunch on Fridays only. I drew names 5-6 each week. Lunch bunch had nothing to do with my behavior system or academic achievement. I wanted students to know that they mattered as people and I cared about them and wanted to get to know them, no matter the mistakes they made. I drew names randomly (sometimes I would rig the system if there was a particular student I knew I needed to deepen my relationship with), and asked if they wanted to have lunch with me. They were allowed to say no and I would put their names back in while keeping neutral. (This was important because I did not want to convey to students that my feelings were hurt because they didn't want to have lunch with me. Maybe they valued having lunch with their friends more. That's okay! They should be able to know they can make that choice and I would still be there for them.) We would have lunch outside if the weather allowed and I just talked to them about their families or weekend plans, etc. Once everyone had an opportunity for a Friday lunch I would discontinue them. Usually this coincided with Winter weather so it was a natural stopping point for me. I only had to give up 5-6 Fridays a year, and the pay off was so worth it!
Utilizing Advisory/ Breakfast in the classroom time
If you have breakfast in the classroom or any unstructured morning time, it is a great time to make your rounds and talk with students. Ask about their soccer game, ask how they are feeling, tell a joke and make them smile, show a cute picture of your dog. When students are in the room, it is important to be present! Take advantage of any time you can to talk to them!
Notes
Writing notes to your students is a great way to encourage communication. It is a great way to involve more introverted students and build relationships with students who are more quiet. It is also a great way to encourage reading and writing skills! To make this manageable, I would pick 5 -6 students a day to write a note to. The notes would be waiting on their desk in the morning. Trust me, the smile on their faces when they see their notes make it worth the time! They would be super simple. I usually wrote one thing they’ve been doing well that I’ve noticed. And then I would ask a question about their lives. Sometimes they would just come to me and answer in person and sometimes they would write back. Again, I would keep track of each student and try to write a note to everyone in that week. You could keep it up for a month and then start writing more sparingly as needed.
Consistent expectations and clear rules
When you have clear rules and expectations and apply them fairly across your class, you will improve your relationships with students. Giving students a pass or being more lenient (or harsh) with certain students dissolves trust. Students that are treated more lenient start to notice the differences in the class and this can lead to assumptions that your expectations for them aren’t as high, or you are not a fair / trustworthy person. We recommend creating a classroom agreement/contract/rules together as a class in the beginning of the year. This creates agency and leaves no room for confusion. I would also recommend going over the consequences for breaking each rule as well.
*As a side note, I’m not advocating for not providing different social emotional support to students. Some students need more support to follow the rules. They may need more reminders, behavior charts, regulation breaks, or soft starts. However, they should still be held accountable in some way for following the classroom expectations.
Building a class community
Connection Circles
Connection circles are a great way to start the day! If you don’t have time in the morning, they can really be done at any time during the day. You can run them however it feels right for you and your class. However, the point is to foster connection among your class and give everyone a chance to speak. I generally follow these guidelines from Restorative Teaching Tools. The only thing I do differently is I go around the circle a second time for connections or questions. This is also a time for people to share if they passed the first time. This gives students a chance to connect over their similarities. They might say, “I have a connection with ___ because my sister also gets on my nerves.” Remember to start the year with low risk, getting to know you questions and then gradually move to medium risk questions. You want students to feel safe to share and it is okay to get a little deep once a sense of community has been established. An example of a low risk question is: What superpower would you have? An example of a medium risk question is: Think about a time you made a mistake. How did it make you feel?
The great thing about connection circles is you can use it to tie in to your lessons. Say you are an upper elementary or secondary teacher and you are going to learn about Clara Brown. Maybe you ask your students the following question in a connection circle: Think about a time you missed someone. What feelings came up for you during that time? How did you cope with those feelings? (Notice I did NOT ask “think about a time you’ve been separated from your family.” That question could bring up a lot of trauma for our students. Even the question about missing someone could be triggering to some students whose parents are going through a divorce, or a military family or a family who has been separated due to geo-political reasons. It’s extremely important to know your students before asking those medium risk questions.) However, asking students to think about the emotional response to missing someone will help them connect to Clara Brown. And those connections are how we learn!
Morning message/ morning meetings
This is different from a connection circle in that morning meetings or messages are more about what to expect from the day. These are mostly used in elementary school when teachers are with their students all day long and students need to know what their day will look like. I used to write a letter to my class every morning on my whiteboard. I would start it with “Dear Class, Today in reading we will ___.” And I would go through each subject with a little preview about what to expect. I would end the letter Love, Ms. Barker and then I would have a PS which was the connection circle question. When we circled up in the morning I read them the letter and then we got started with our connection circle. The great thing about that was I could write it when I had a sub and it felt like even though I wasn’t fully there, part of me was. I also liked doing this because it exposed students to the proper formatting of a letter! I always love when my SEL/ community building has an academic tie in.
Class game time
This is a great opportunity to build community with your students! Just be sure you are ALSO playing the game with them! Everyone wants the teacher on their team!
Check your tone/ attitude
Kids pick up on everything! A friendly tone and smile goes a long way! Kids can tell if you are always have a short temper with a particular student. This can cause a class to gang up on someone instead of coming together. Remember, the teacher sets the tone. If the teacher is welcoming and inclusive to everyone, the class will be, too.
